THE ART OF BEING PRESENT

Embrace the beauty of the moment.

Embrace the beauty of the moment.

Being present, in the now, in a state of bliss, or whatever you want to call it.

When you can immerse yourself fully in the moment/situation you are currently experiencing, without letting your mind wander and take you away from what is happening in the here and now.

Congratulations. You’ve reached a state that few will ever fathom, and even fewer will attain.

See, most people are either stuck in the past or existing solely for the future. Seldom will you come across an individual who is content with the present.

That said, there are many ways to skin a cat. What you’ll find below is some simple steps and ways I have found to be the most effective in my quest to make peace with the now.

Bear in mind, quieting the overactive mind is one of the most challenging things you can do. If you can do this, even for brief periods of time, most obstacles in life will seem like a breeze.

1) Visit a local park/ be in nature  

I always find it help to pay a visit to my local park and be in nature. (Having a dog to walk helps in this regard). Every day I rise at 6am and take my dog for his daily walk, bright and early.

Of course, I also use this as means to perform a little “active meditation.”

I like going into the park, with no one around except my dog and the birds chirping.

Just being in nature, appreciating the stillness of the moment and taking in the views has a certain divine feel to it.

I find when I’m in nature time sort of slows down and it’s very therapeutic. It’s easier to just embrace the peacefulness and tranquility of nature, making it easier to just be in tune with the moment. (If you typically spend any time in nature, you’ll know what I’m taking about).

If you have a local park/ nature resort near to you, visit it and enjoy the beauty of nature. Few things in life can compare with the simplicity and serenity of it. (Ideally you want to go at a time that’s least busy).

2) Look and Listen

This is perhaps the simplest, yet most damn difficult thing to do. (It’s ironic how simplicity is the greatest form of complexity).

It requires channeling all your attention to the moment at hand and really connecting with the here and now.

Getting away from all the nonessential cluster of thoughts overloading your mind, distracting and taking you away from the moment.

You’ve probably heard some form of this phrase before.

“You’re here, but you’re not really here.”

But have you ever taken the time to understand and consider what this statement is really screaming out.

To truly maximise the quality of the time you spend in any situation, you must be fully aware of what is going on in the moment.

This is unfortunately something people rarely do. Usually we’re trying to escape from our current situation in the hopes of “finding” happiness in another time, namely the future.

The truth is, if you can’t be happy and accept things as they are now you won’t be happy in the future.

The art of looking and listening forces you to become present and aware of your current environment. (It really is an art).

You can really apply this anywhere and to any situation. In fact try it right now.

I use this all the time, and it really works synergistically with the first point (being in nature).

Listen to the world around you. Focus on the sounds. Look at the environment and really create a clear image of what is really around you.

For this to work effectively, it’s really important not to let your mind get the better of you.

Don’t question the moment and don’t try to conceptualise, label or define your surroundings.

This is a great exercise for calming the overactive imagination.

If you do this properly you’ll be more aware of your surroundings, kind of like having a heightened sense.

Sure beats being another drone, moving through time and space, with no real satisfaction and missing the beauty of the present moment and life itself.

You’ll also find it easier to simply accept the current moment, without stress and fretting.

In short, mastering the mind = true happiness

Life can be overbearing and beat you down sometimes. But when you can just accept it as is, with the knowledge that you can keep improving. All of sudden life just doesn’t seem quite so daunting.

Important considerations

It’s important to note that you’ll most likely not be able to completely clear your mind on your first few attempts.

Heck, even after a lot of practice it’ll still be challenging and you probably won’t be able to completely drown out all thoughts.

That’s absolutely fine. Thinking is a natural process and is an important asset. (I still think, and I’m not about to completely stop doing it anytime soon).

However, over thinking and managing the overactive mind should be the primary concern. I only concern myself with eliminating the over thinking aspect of my mind.

I know it’s foolish and completely illogical to try and eliminate all thoughts.

How do you know if you’re over thinking?

Good question.

I can tell I’m over thinking when I’m constantly thinking about something and getting stressed out over it, and letting it consume a lot of my time, effort and energy.

Practical Example:

In relation to fitness when I was fixated on hitting a personal best on the bench press. I over thought the whole thing. I thought about the goal all day and during my training session. It was no surprise that I ended up screwing it up and not getting the weight, because I was releasing all this negative mental energy and sabotaging my own effort to lift the weight.

Sometimes you just need to hang back and let your body just do it’s thing. (I know it’s damn hard to do).

I’ve actually recently had one of the best workouts ever, and I attribute a large part of this to just being present at the gym.

Not caring about anything going on around me or thinking about something other than the task at hand. All I focused on was the movement and the weight I was lifting. It actually was an enjoyable session.

What you have to grasp and appreciate is the fact that all we have is the present. Tomorrow isn’t promised to us.

Nobody knows what can happen. Learn to find the value in the current moment. True happiness comes from being content now. Not waiting for next week or the next 5 years.

Focus on making yourself happy in the now. If you hold it of till the future it, it likely won’t happen.

Live for the moment.

When you strip out all the unnecessary mental noise and take everything back to the simplicity of the moment, you’ll look at life in a whole new light.

THE CONCEPT OF A MAN

the concept of a man- fluid sea

I’m going to begin today’s article with a favorite quote of mine.

“Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.” Eckhart Tolle

My concept of man is very different than others. To me a man is a fluid concept. You can’t really define him. You can define certain qualities, characteristics and traits, but not the man himself.

  • Confidence
  • Bravery
  • Discipline
  • Athleticism
  • Resourcefulness
  • Courageousness
  • Strength
  • Honor

The list could go on and on. These are all characteristics that are attributed to men, in particular “alpha males”.

What’s the point I’m trying to make?

Many people get caught in this circle of alpha males and beta males. They try and define an individual. (In this case a man).

According to some a man is “A”. To others a man is “B”.

When you get caught up in labelling things, you’re limiting yourself. You’re subconsciously training yourself to accept limits.

Concerning yourself with meaningless labels and definitions is a waste of time. It serves no purpose and has no positive impact and value on your life. It’s simply a distraction. It tends to lead to unnecessary arguments as well.

Coming back to the main topic at hand. My concept of man is a fluid one. (In truth there is no real concept. There is no damn concept).

You can judge and “define” a man by his actions and again, it’s not the definition itself that matters. It’s the way he’s lived his life. The people he’s impacted and helped improve. It’s the way he’s touched on the lives of others.

There is no real way to define a man or any other being on this green Earth.

You can only really define the characteristics and traits of a man. Whether you define someone as alpha or beta makes no damn ounce of difference to your life.

The point I’m making is- stop trying to label and define things that have no real bearing on the outcome of your own life.

Stop fixating on others and spend time working and honing in on yourself.

When you look inward and immerse yourself in self-improvement, you won’t worry about others’ opinions and labels. You won’t entertain senseless conversations.

I used to get caught up in all this crap, but I stopped when I realised how pointless and nonessential it was.

So a man displays alpha tendencies. That’s great for him. But it doesn’t directly, physically affect my life in any positive way.

The only way for me to derive any use from it is to understand, break down and decipher the way he became “alpha” and the way he acquired those tendencies. If I can then apply that to myself, only then will it be of use to me.

If you want to become the true “alpha” it doesn’t involve going around, acting like a jerk or attention whore.

Focus on improving your life and striving to become better and you’ll automatically find yourself becoming alpha. (You won’t even need to talk about or mention it. Your presence will just reflect it).

If you’re out of shape, change your eating habits and start training. If you live like a slob, clean out your living space.

Learn a new language. Read books.

Travel, broaden your horizons and world outlook. Practice a martial art to instil discipline within.

The bottom line is, focus on becoming an individual of value and then pass on that knowledge to others and help those less fortunate than you.

When you become immersed in yourself, all labels, stereotypes and distractions become inconsequential. You won’t even give a damn whether people view you as an “alpha”, “beta” or whatever.

I’m at the point now where I don’t give a damn about being called “alpha”. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It used to be something I was concerned with. Trying to become an “alpha”.

I’ve read articles and countless books on the subject.

But then I saw it for what it really is. Just a label. A name. I stopped concerning myself with it.

My aim in life is to grow and expand as a person and become an individual of value.

Labels and names are just a form of limitation to keep people small and confined.

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” Bruce Lee

That’s just my take. I’m constantly learning, growing and evolving and I’ll continue striving and improving. (A Sikh is always learning).

You don’t have to take anything I say as gospel. (Or anyone else for that matter). Use your own head and follow your natural instincts.

Stop being preoccupied with labels and definitions. Live your life and leave the defining to others.

Note: If you found this article useful and enjoyed reading it, my upcoming book on happiness and productivity covers this topic plus a whole lot more. More details to be released in the near future. 

JUST GET STARTED

just get started

Once he gets started there’s no stopping him.

The biggest obstacle in your path is you.

That’s right.

You can be your own greatest ally yet also your worst enemy. Hey there’s two sides to every coin, right?

See, people tend to get in their own way and sabotage their own efforts and chances of improvement and/or accomplishment.

The problem most people have is this:

THEY DON’T GET STARTED!!

Take the guy or gal who plans to start exercising and eating better, but constantly talks themselves out of it, postponing it for tomorrow, inevitably never getting around to actually doing it.

Maybe it was fear and lack of self-belief that held them back, or maybe they were just plain lazy.

It doesn’t really matter. The point is they never got started. They held themselves back.

Maybe they got their head wrapped up in all the minor details, like what’s the best routine? What should my macro intake be? How many exercises should I do in a workout? How long should I train? Should I use forced reps, rest pause, strip sets and other advanced techniques to get better results?

They get so caught up in all of this, end up getting confused and ultimately give up before they even start.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t track your macros, or whatever the hell you like to do and I’m not saying you shouldn’t tailor your training program to you.

But if you’re over thinking everything and getting confused, it’s probably a good indicator that you currently lack the knowledge and experience to use certain principles.

It’s like trying to run before you’ve learnt to walk.

Just pick a suitable program that you’ll be able to stick to and follow basic nutrition principles and see where it takes you.

As you get more advanced you can tinker and tweak things to suit your own unique body and lifestyle.

Now this is just a hypothetical situation, but there are millions of people out there that can relate and go through similar situations like this on a daily basis.

Their fears, doubts and insecurities paralyse them and they never take the first step.

This doesn’t just apply to fitness and wanting to look good naked. Oh no, no, no.

It extends into a variety of aspects.

Some people chase “dream jobs” and “ideal occupations” but never get round to actually working them.

They talk about the things they want to do and stuff the want to own, but never reach any of their goals.

It stops at that. Just a goal and nothing more. It’s a word on a page. An idea generated in the head that stays in the head.

They never take an actual step to getting there.

Goals are sweet, but the feeling of crushing them is a whole lot sweeter.

You can read all the motivation books, watch all the motivational videos, but in the end it all comes down to you and your desire to reach your goals by taking the first step towards them and getting started.

Lao Tzu’s saying nails it.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Damn straight.

The “experts” would like you to believe you need something revolutionary to achieve.

All you really need is a little thought, some planning and plenty of hard, focused work.

If you just make a start, you’ll be ahead of the herd, wondering what could happen. Maybe, just maybe you’ll turn dreams into a reality.

I’ll guarantee you this though, if you don’t make a start you’ll never find out.

Remember, When you make success a necessity, you’re chances of being successful increase substantially.

Take your chances, don’t neglect your opportunities and grow as a human being.

All in all, JUST GET STARTED!!

CROSSING THE FINISH- LEAVE NOTHING ON THE LINE

The game is set. The race is on.

The game is set. The race is on.

I won’t back down. No I won’t back down. You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won’t back down.”

The lyrics of that Johnny cash song still ring in my ears. A reminder and constant reinforcement of the will and drive I’ve dedicated to this game called life.

There is only one certainty in life. Everyone dies, and it’s as true for me as it is for every human being on this planet.

Maybe that’s the one thing we all have in common. It’s common ground.

We all face the grind on a daily basis and while it’s true some face more hurdles and pitfalls along the way than others, everyone, no matter how amazing their lives seem face challenges. (That’s no damn joke).

Anybody that tells you otherwise is a fool and outright liar.

If you want to succeed in life and become the best version of yourself that you can, genetics and talent aside, you need to be prepared to give 100%.

“You’ve got to give before you can get.”

Talent and genetics alone will only get you so far. You need the resolve, that little voice in your head that tells you to go on and keep going, and not to quit when things get hard or when it looks like you’re not going to make it.

To truly say that you’re living a fulfilling, productive and happy life, I believe correlates with your ability to leave all the cards on the table.

To give it your all, knowing full well there isn’t another damn thing you can do.

That, to me is the real way of achieving personal satisfaction.

I’m not saying I have the key to living an extraordinary life. This is simply something I live by and make every effort to uphold.

I believe in this principle and it’s a cornerstone of life for me.

I’ll only do something when I know and feel my soul is 110% in it. Otherwise I won’t get involved. It isn’t just a question of morals and ethics.

It’s something personal and I intend to uphold it to the very end.

See, I know the difference between going all the way and stopping short, and let me tell you with complete confidence that all the best decisions I’ve ever made stemmed from going into something with all guns blazing.

Yep, you read correctly. No matter how many times you’ve fallen, it’s your ability to rise up, say screw you to life and that I won’t be at your mercy. I am not a slave to you. That’s what counts.

Never half ass anything. Go all or nothing. Play to win and always remember, when things get hard that’s the real time to shine.

Even if you do lose, this way you can truly do it with honour and walk away with your head still held high, knowing full well you gave it everything you could. You did everything humanly possible.

“Do something part-time, you’ll get a part-time result. Do it full-time and you’ll get a full-time result.”

I know it’s tough to will yourself back when you feel like you’ve lost your way. Most people give up, devolve and regress.

Hell, I’ve stumbled more times than I can count and probably will continue to, but I will keep getting back up. That’s what really counts in this life. Once you’ve succeeded at something all your previous failures don’t seem quite so bad.

Look at it this way, you’ve got a chance to start with a clean slate. You’ve got a fresh start.

You may fail 100 times at something, but hit the jackpot on attempt 101. If you give up on that 100th attempt how will you know?

The point I’m making is that people get derailed too easily and give up way too soon.

Practice makes perfect. It’s repeated so damn often and it’s so damn true.

Keep one thing in mind though. You can only properly apply this to your life if you have a purpose, a goal, something that you’re committed to and really want. (If you’re not a cage breaker this isn’t for you).

That’s why I love a good underdog. As much as being a champion is phenomenal and I imagine it feels amazing to be the champ. All eyes are on you but you’ve got nothing left to prove.

You’re at the top and that’s when people tend to get cocky. They get caught up in the fame and let their egos go to the moon.

That’s the problem. They stop focusing on what got them to the top and start gloating in self-glory. They underestimate those who pose a potential threat.

They forget that something as small as a pin can deflate even the largest balloon.

Good challengers on the other hand have everything to prove. (Especially to themselves). Usually they’re the ones working as hard as they can because they know what’s at stake.

They understand that going head to head, toe-to-toe with the champ is no easy feat and that in order to have even the slightest chance of winning, they have to bring their “A” game.

This video says it all. (The DBZ reference makes for a nice bonus). 

Now it’s your turn!! 

Remember, as long as you’re still breathing there’s still time to cross that finish line.

If there’s something you want in your life, what are you still doing here? Go out and grab that sucker by the throat.

THE GAME IS ON!!

ARE YOU PLAYING TO WIN? 

EVOLUTION AND GROWTH 

 

THE KEYS TO BUILDING REAL CONFIDENCE

Be unmovable like a mountain

Be unmovable like a mountain

There are tons of articles plastered all over the web that address the issue of building confidence. I know this is a big problem for many people and something they really struggle with.

While there are definitely some good articles out there, I haven’t seen a great deal that come at it from the angle I’m about to.

Many of the articles I’ve read primarily focus on external, physical factors. You know, things like:

  • Dress better
  • Stand up straight
  • Walk tall
  • Groom well

While that definitely does have an impact and will help boost your confidence and feeling of self worth, it’s merely scratching the surface.

It’s treating the symptoms but not getting at the actual problem.

You could take a bum of the street, dress him up in fancy clothes, tell him to walk straighter with his chest out and shoulders back, give him a haircut and groom him up.

But at the end of the day he’d still be a bum.

You can’t change a person from the outside without a significant internal transformation taking place.

What you have to understand and grasp is this.

The root/source of all confidence stems from the ability to do something and do it really damn well.

If you’re excellent at what you do, you have the drive for it and love it to death, you’ll find your confidence levels will sky rocket.

That brings us to the first and probably most critical step in building real, long lasting confidence.

1) Identify and have a purpose in life

YOU MUST HAVE YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE NAILED DOWN AND CRYSTAL CLEAR!!

I cannot stress the importance of this enough. If you don’t dial this in or put enough effort and energy into this, nothing else will work.

IT’S DAMN VITAL YOU DO THIS.

Not just for your confidence levels, but life in general. This will affect your levels of satisfaction and happiness big time.

I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of how to go about discovering your purpose in this article. I’ve covered it before and it’s something I build upon in my upcoming book.

I will say this though. If you’re motivated by what you do and it really fires you up, drives you and you’re good at it and can see yourself doing it long-term, you’ve likely realised your purpose.

If you make purpose your primary focus in life you’ll become centred as an individual, which’ll lead to a massive confidence and self esteem boost, all without the need to concentrate on “tactics” to build confidence. 

On the other hand, if you have no direction in life, you’re a drifter. Neither here nor there, wandering aimlessly like a lost sheep.

You can employ all the confidence boosting tactics you want, but if you don’t fully believe in yourself and are not engaging in something you’re good at and gives your life meaning, you won’t build real, lasting confidence.

Do you seriously think you’re going to boost your confidence simply by dressing fancier and kidding yourself, by horsing around trying to copy and act like someone who is confident?

It might work for a little while, but it won’t last long-term and do you want to know why?

Because it’s fake. It’s not really coming from you.

Like it or not, there’ll come a point when you’re going to have to drop the act and take of those fancy clothes and if you haven’t developed real confidence for yourself, everything else is just a waste.

I can understand why people think like that, after all the vast majority of “experts” will tell you to:

“Fake it till you make it.”

What a load of hogwash. How long are you going to keep pretending?

I guarantee you it won’t last, because it’s not you.

It’s not who you are and it’s not something you’ll ever be.

Can you fake being successful?

Can you fake being rich?

Can you fake enjoying life?

Can you fake true friendship?

Can you fake trust and respect?

Your answer should be a definite NO. (If it isn’t you’ve got a lot of straightening out to do in your life).

See, there aren’t a lot of things you can actually fake in life. Sure you can lie, cheat and steal, but you can’t lie to yourself at the end of the day.

The bottom line is, confidence, self-worth and self-respect can’t be faked.

True confidence comes from high self worth and high self worth comes from having a purpose. (Something you love and do incredibly well).

No matter what you think or how much people tell you to fake it till you make it, you just can’t fake real confidence. So get that idea out of your head.

2) Be self-reliant

Real confidence also comes from self-reliance. You should only ever depend on yourself to get what you want in life.

If you constantly rely on others, you will never develop the confidence that comes from being able to stand up for yourself.

You need to stand up on your own two feet and grab the bull (life) by the horns.

There’s a great feeling of confidence, power and self-worth that comes from being self-reliant.

When you’re comfortable living alone without the aid of others, knowing full well you can survive without anyone, you know you can handle anything.

Note: I’m not advocating living alone, but prepare yourself in a way that allows you to function without others.

So if a scenario were to ever arise, where someone said to you:

“You can’t live without me. You need me.”

You can just laugh and walk away, carefree and confident in your ability to live for yourself and on your own terms.

How can you develop that?

Great question. (No, really it is).

Probably the key thing and basis of self-reliance in this day and age, is the ability to be financially stable.

If you don’t have any money you should be doing something to make it. Whether that involves starting your own business or going out to work.

When you have your own money and aren’t dependent on the charity of others, you’re already taking a major step to being self-reliant.

3) Don’t dwell on your shortcomings

If you suffer from low self esteem and self confidence, working on the two things I mentioned above will set you straight and take your mind off any self doubt and feelings of negativity.

However, some people don’t have the guts to make a start in the first place, due to their own pessimism and lack of faith holding them back.

Listen, whether you’re tall, short, have green blood or come from mars, there’s no reason you can’t achieve success.

Instead of spending your time worrying about all the things that are wrong with you, focus that frustration and channel it in a creative way that will help you move towards your goals.

Use it as a motivation. Whatever you do, just don’t wallow in self pity. Nothing good was ever accomplished from that. Tell yourself that you’re going to become the best version of your self possible and stand by it.

When you do that, your behaviour and attitude will change. People around you will take notice and treat you with respect as your own self respect grows, and hey presto, before you know it your INFERIORITY COMPLEX WILL VANISH.

In fact your shortcomings, though they may seem like weaknesses now, can give you an advantage over those who seemingly have everything perfect.

Why? You may ask.

Well, those individuals typically tend to have strong egos and some of them feel they’ve already accomplished everything they wanted to in life, and don’t feel the need to improve or make any changes. That’s a big mistake. You should always be striving for improvement.

In summary, to build real confidence you need to focus on three key things.

1)   Discovering your purpose

2)   Becoming self-reliant

3)   Not being ruled by your shortfalls  

These three fundamental things combined with dressing sharper and walking tall etc will improve your confidence.

Funnily enough, if you focus on these three things you’ll automatically start walking tall, with your chest out and shoulders back, all without giving it much thought.

You’ll hold better conversations with people because you’ll actually have something you’re passionate about and can talk about really well.

When you break it down confidence really comes from within. It’s an expression of you. You can’t just fake it. You’ve either got it, are in the process of getting it, or haven’t got it.

“If you want to live a worthwhile life, make your life worth living.”

If you enjoyed this article and want more info, I cover this subject and more in my upcoming book. In it you’ll learn how happiness, confidence and purpose share a link and the way to go about maximising them.

CHARISMA AND CONFIDENCE

3 TYPES OF PEOPLE TO AVOID IN LIFE

handshake

Choose your associates wisely.

Whether you like it or not the types of people you hang around and associate with in life can make or break you. Hang around with successful, enthusiastic and optimistic individuals and you’ll start thinking and acting in a similar manner. (But you knew that already, right?)

Hang around with deadbeats and energy leeches on the other hand and you’ll end up like one in no time. Worst of all they suck the joy and happiness out of your life.

Yep, the people you associate with definitely have an impact on you, your attitude and outlook on life.

Without taking anymore of your valuable time, lets delve right into the types of people that will sabotage your drive and desire for success and happiness.

The Schemers/Users

These people are a real nasty bunch. The kind that resorts to scamming, manipulation and trickery to get their way in life, whether it’s in business or relationships.

They’ll lie through their teeth to get what they want.

Schemers have one goal and come from one frame of mind. “Screw everyone else, I only care about me at the expense of everything and everyone else around me.”

They’re the guys or gals always backstabbing others to get in the bosses good books at the office.

They pretend to be friends with you, but secretly behind your back they’re really just using you to suit and fulfil their own devilish desires.

Problem is, the world’s full of them. Best thing to do is just avoid them. Don’t be around them and you won’t expose yourself to any of their negative crap.

How can you tell if someone’s a schemer?

Excellent question. Stay sharp and look out for the following signs:

  • Those who gossip and spread rumors about others.
  • Those who try and get you to come around to their way of thinking, without justifiable reason.
  • One sided conversations, where everything is focused on them and their problems and how you can help them. (These people expect you to help solve their issues, while never even considering you).

The bottom line is schemers always have a hidden agenda.

The Short-sighted/ Naysayers

Next on the list, you guessed it. The short-sighted. These people have a very limited perception of the world. They’ll really dampen your mood and enthusiasm.

As a result of their narrow mindedness they can’t imagine anyone else having a more positive attitude and success than themselves.

These people will crush your dreams and drive for success faster than grapes in a vineyard.

They’ll try and dissuade you from your pursuits.

Some of the common statements you’ll hear from them go along the lines of:

  • “Be realistic”
  • “Stop dreaming”
  • “You’ll never be able to do that”

These people love labels and they’ll label you “dreamer” or “insane” because you refuse to accept anything less than you know you’re worth. Pay no attention to folks like this.

If you do unfortunately come into contact with them, just laugh off any of the pathetic statements and drivel that comes out of their mouths.

Keep believing in yourself and pushing forward, and when you achieve your goals, let them wonder how you did it.

The Losers

Lastly, we come to the good old loser. The way to identify these individuals is generally by their failures and clear displays of lagging self-belief and feelings of unworthiness.

People that are unwilling to help themselves are not worthy of respect or help from anyone.

As you ascend the success ladder, your ability to identify these individuals will become more pronounced. As a general guideline, losers tend to have a pessimistic outlook towards life.

It’s all in the mentality of the individual. If you believe in yourself and see yourself highly you’re already steering clear of the loser trap. You’ll tend to find you’ll start to automatically meet and associate with people who have an optimistic attitude to life. Like attracts like.

THINK LIKE A WINNER, BECOME A WINNER.

It pays big time to devote a little extra attention to your social circles and get to really know the people around you, like your colleagues, co-workers, friends and heck even family. You need to assess for yourself if they really have any care and value for you as a person.

One thing is certain if you mix with the types of people listed above they’ll drain you of your positivity, happiness, and optimistic attitude to life. They’ll suck all your energy and drive you mad. (Something I cover, plus more in my soon to be released book on happiness).

If you take anything away from this article, make it this….

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS CAREFULLY.

 They have an impact on and say more about you than you may realise.

 FRIENDSHIP AND HAPPINESS

NUMERO UNO

He doesn't need anyone to tell him he's number 1.

He doesn’t need anyone to tell him he’s number 1.

WHO’S NUMBER ONE?

ME.

That’s the response you should give to anyone that poses such a question. (Or something to that effect).

It might sound abrupt, maybe even immodest, but that really is (should be) the truth.

When you rise each day, tell yourself you’re number one. Repeat it until it’s ingrained in your psyche. Write it on a post it note and stick it on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator. Somewhere you’ll be able to see and remind yourself of it daily.

Bottom line. JUST GET IT IN YOUR HEAD!!

In this life I’ve realised you’ve got to take yourself seriously, demonstrate and actually have some damn respect and think highly of yourself.

Does that mean going around and being a self-gloating, boastful prick?

Of course not.

There’s no need to impose yourself on others. That’s a sign of insecurity.

If that’s what you take from this, then you’re getting the wrong message completely.

Have a little faith and belief in yourself. Don’t purposefully belittle and undermine yourself in front of others. Don’t think negatively of yourself.

As you think so shall you become.

At the end of the day, only you can be your own hero and salvager. The greatest enemy is that of the self.

One of the biggest issues is that we constantly seek approval from society.

If you value the opinions and influences of others above that of your own gut, then you really don’t value yourself. That to me is a massive sin.

It’s a form a mental castration. There’s also nothing more demoralising than the feeling of no self worth.

That’s one of the biggest problems with modern society. Instead of accepting the situation and trying to push on, we demote ourselves, because we worry about what others think of us.

Besides, no one will think highly of you if you don’t think highly of yourself. When you have self-respect and high self worth, people will automatically catch the vibe and treat you with respect.

Pull yourself together and start seeing yourself as the champion you are and should be. Don’t let someone talk crap about you and make you feel inferior.

You’re in charge of your reality. Never let anyone try to take that away from you, or make you think and feel otherwise.

Convince yourself that you’re number one and let the rest happen.

DIGNITY AND RESPECT

PATH TO PERFECTION

Perfection.

Perfection.

Can you be perfect?

Is perfection actually attainable?

The short answer is yes.

See, perfection is completely attainable, but not in the context that many view it. The common concept of perfection goes something along the lines of…

Perfection is a state of completeness and flawlessness.” (That’s the Wikipedia definition of it).

Now looking at that you’re probably thinking. “Screw this, there’s no way I or any other person on this green earth could reach that.” You know what? You’re probably right.

Therefore, the problem doesn’t lie in the question of whether perfection is attainable or not, but rather in the definition of the word.

If you go by the conventional definition, you’ll straight away realise it just isn’t going to happen. You figure, no one is without flaws, so there goes that theory.

So much for perfection, right?

WRONG!!

I used to think perfection was just a myth. A fallacy. Something that only existed in fairytales.

But one fine day, I realised that there was a way to “be perfect” and that anyone could do it.

Being perfect, in my opinion is actually the opposite of that above definition.

Being perfect has everything to do with you, your relationship with yourself, family, friends and environment.

Confused. Not to worry. All will be explained.

Perfection, at least my understanding and definition of it is this:

Perfection is the ability to understand, acknowledge and accept that you have flaws.

To accept you have weaknesses and fears, but regardless you give life your all. You give it your best shot. You work with what you have. You embrace your demons.

It’s your ability to stick by those you love, look them in the eye and say to them you did everything you humanly could for them, and there wasn’t another damn thing you could do.

If you can do that ladies and gentleman, in my eyes you’re perfect.

We all have fears, flaws and weaknesses. But too few are willing to admit to them. Those people are cowards.

Only a coward hides and cowers over their fears. They run away from their problems and are willing to take no responsibility for them.

An individual like that can never be perfect because they are unwilling and unable to accept their faults and just can’t push forward in spite of them.

An individual that’s perfect on the otherhand will rise to the challenge. They’ll face their fears full on, and emerge victorious on the other side.

That’s my take on a topic of high magnitude.

Note: I don’t claim I am right or my way is the best or only way. I’m simply sharing my honest opinions and thoughts. Like you, I battle through the grind daily.  

EXCELLENCE AND PERFECTION 

COMBATING THE CONSTRAINTS: 3 THINGS STOPPING YOU ACHIEVEING SUCCESS

Arnold "Success" Schwarzenegger

Arnold “Success” Schwarzenegger

There’s an old African saying that goes something like this.

If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.”

The majority of the time we’re our own worst enemy. We sabotage our own efforts.

In this article I’m going to outline three key inward enemies that are halting your progress when it comes to achieving success.

Lets get to it!!

1) Worry

One of the biggest time wasters in life is worry. People tend to worry about stuff that doesn’t even concern them. Why bother worrying about something you have no control over? It’s absurd.

It’s pretty useless, yet powerful at the same time.

How and why? You might be wondering.

Look at it in context. When you break it down, you’ll find worry is useless because it doesn’t in any way, shape or form help you achieve or reach your goal.

You can worry your head all day long, but the fact is, if you don’t take a step and actually do something to reach your goal, you’re never going to achieve it.

I always say,  “If you’ve got time to worry, you aren’t putting all your time into achieving your goal because if you were, you certainly wouldn’t have the time to worry about it.”

On the flip-side, worry is a powerful emotion, only because we give it power. The only power worry has is that which the worrier gives it. The more you worry about something the more you feed the worry.

It’s like a fire. Add more wood to it and slowly the flames grow.

The only solution to combating worry is to get your ass in gear and start physically taking action to get you closer to your goal.

You’ll find when you’re busy doing something, you won’t worry about a thing.

Only an idle mind worries. As the saying goes, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”

2) Fear of failure

This one is pretty obvious but worth repeating.

A person that attempts nothing will never fail at anything. It’s a pretty straightforward principle to grasp.

Obviously that same person will never get anywhere in life, they’ll simply remain where they are as they drift through life.

In many cases people fear failure more than a life of mediocrity.

If you’re afraid of failing, you’ll never take a step towards success. (You don’t need me to tell you the result).

Arnold Schwarzenegger said it best.

“ You can’t always win, but don’t be afraid of making decisions. You can’t be paralyzed by fear of failure or you will never push yourself. You keep pushing because you believe in yourself and in your vision. And you know it is the right thing to do and success will come. Don’t be afraid to fail.” 

3) Fear of success

Sounds strange, I know. Just as you have people that fear failure, you have people that are afraid of success.

You see the more successful you become, the more different you become to others. You become less regular. Less ordinary. People begin to look at you differently. You don’t fit in with everyone else.

To some people the thought of not fitting in and being part of the crowd is unbearable. They want to become successful, yet maintain their level of regularity.

Newsflash: If you want to be hip, cool and be liked by everyone, you don’t deserve success. That’s the harsh reality. There’s no sugarcoating it.

In an ideal, fairy tale world, you would be able to be successful and yet maintain your likeability and ordinariness. But as we all know life isn’t such.

The truth is, as you become successful, you’ll find people start to become jealous of you. Some of the people you once called friends are the ones plotting to stab you in the back.

The point is, if you want to be a success, you’ll have to sacrifice some of your social status. You have to be prepared to lose a few friends here and there. You have to accept the fact that you just won’t fit in with the rest of “ordinary society” Deal with it. You’ll realise you’re better off not being ordinary. (The world ain’t pretty).

Arnold. A true definition of success. Whether you like him or not, there’s no dennying what the man has achieved.

PERSEVERANCE AND PROSPERITY 

THE GREAT GARBAGE APPEAL

Garbage, garbage everywhere.

Garbage, garbage everywhere.

Society really is downgrading. Even with all this modern technology, fancy gadgets and world of upgrades, the quality of life simply isn’t keeping up. Everywhere you look, people are ensnared in it.

The garbage is all around.

Instead of eating whole, natural foods we consume processed garbage. We watch garbage on TV instead of doing something more beneficial like reading an educational book, boosting our knowledge and empowering ourselves.

People view garbage on their phones and social media, rather than actually physically interacting with others. As a result they’re becoming more robotic themselves.

Society is turning us into lazy slobs. We’re ultimately to blame however, because we don’t do ourselves justice.

We conform to all the bullshit. The common excuse is convenience.

It’s more convenient to order out pizza and ice cream than it is to cook chicken, rice and veggies at home. It’s more convenient to take the car down the road to the supermarket than it is to walk. (Moaning about the heaviness of shopping is no excuse).

No matter how  hard or tough we consider ourselves, there’s no denying the fact that as humans we’re more likely to opt for the easy way out. We’re always looking for short cuts to everything.  (I’m guilty of it as well at times, just like anybody else).

Garbage is everywhere. No wonder society is falling apart.

The more of this garbage people absorb and consume, the more moronic society is becoming. It’s really quite utterly ridiculous. If things keep going humanity is going to end up as one uncommunicative wreck. (It’s happening).

Humanity is losing its grip on reality. (That’s no damn joke).

What’s the appeal with all this garbage?

What’s the solution to this situation?

Where to even begin?

START WITH YOURSELF. BETTER YOURSELF. Instead of going home tonight and sitting your comfortable touché on the couch and turning on the brainwash box (TV) pick up a book, newspaper, hell read a blog post. Something that you can get actual value from.

Better yourself. Make yourself smarter. Don’t be like every other individual that goes home after work and sits in front of the box, counting the hours till they go to bed, get up, come home from work and repeat.

It’s not really that hard to read a book instead of watching the latest episode of whatever corny show’s on.

If you hate reading, here’s a quick, simple tip.

Create a blood oath with yourself. Every night before you go to bed, read at least 1 page of a book of your choosing.

Eventually that 1 page will turn into 2,3,5, and soon enough you’ll enjoy reading.

Switch that damn mobile off every once in a while. In fact I know a guy that doesn’t take any calls after 6pm. Thats it, his cut off point. It’s distracting, disruptive and constantly an annoyance.

The worst bit is you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone and your phone goes off. You answer the call and start babbling away.

How does that make the person you’re conversing with feel?

Maybe it’s happened to you. How’d it make you feel?

I’m not saying these things are inherently bad. it’s fine to watch a little TV, spend a bit of time on social media and phones.

The problem is when it ends up taking over your life. When you’re more concerned with what happened last night on TV than the goals you’ve set yourself. If that sums you up, you need to seriously sort out your priorities.

You might not feel it now, but it’s great to be (at least a little) different than everyone else. Not to be grouped and lumbered with Tom, Dick and Harry.

Raise the bar, be a leader, don’t follow the rest of the herd. If everyone selects x, pick y. If they  take a left, take a right.

At first you may find it hard to break away from the conformity and constraints of others, but realise this. You are your own person. You have your own path in life.

Nobody in this world was meant to be exactly the same as someone else. Otherwise we’d all look the same, talk the same and be the same.

YOU’VE GOT TO GO AGAINST THE GRAIN TO BE THE ONE THAT STICKS OUT.

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THE WORLD. TO DO IT YOU’VE GOT TO FIRST CHANGE YOURSELF. 

Ironic that one of the greatest speeches came from the mouth of a comedian by the name of Charlie Chaplin.

LIBERTY AND REVELATION