Archives for September 2014


the concept of a man- fluid sea

I’m going to begin today’s article with a favorite quote of mine.

“Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.” Eckhart Tolle

My concept of man is very different than others. To me a man is a fluid concept. You can’t really define him. You can define certain qualities, characteristics and traits, but not the man himself.

  • Confidence
  • Bravery
  • Discipline
  • Athleticism
  • Resourcefulness
  • Courageousness
  • Strength
  • Honor

The list could go on and on. These are all characteristics that are attributed to men, in particular “alpha males”.

What’s the point I’m trying to make?

Many people get caught in this circle of alpha males and beta males. They try and define an individual. (In this case a man).

According to some a man is “A”. To others a man is “B”.

When you get caught up in labelling things, you’re limiting yourself. You’re subconsciously training yourself to accept limits.

Concerning yourself with meaningless labels and definitions is a waste of time. It serves no purpose and has no positive impact and value on your life. It’s simply a distraction. It tends to lead to unnecessary arguments as well.

Coming back to the main topic at hand. My concept of man is a fluid one. (In truth there is no real concept. There is no damn concept).

You can judge and “define” a man by his actions and again, it’s not the definition itself that matters. It’s the way he’s lived his life. The people he’s impacted and helped improve. It’s the way he’s touched on the lives of others.

There is no real way to define a man or any other being on this green Earth.

You can only really define the characteristics and traits of a man. Whether you define someone as alpha or beta makes no damn ounce of difference to your life.

The point I’m making is- stop trying to label and define things that have no real bearing on the outcome of your own life.

Stop fixating on others and spend time working and honing in on yourself.

When you look inward and immerse yourself in self-improvement, you won’t worry about others’ opinions and labels. You won’t entertain senseless conversations.

I used to get caught up in all this crap, but I stopped when I realised how pointless and nonessential it was.

So a man displays alpha tendencies. That’s great for him. But it doesn’t directly, physically affect my life in any positive way.

The only way for me to derive any use from it is to understand, break down and decipher the way he became “alpha” and the way he acquired those tendencies. If I can then apply that to myself, only then will it be of use to me.

If you want to become the true “alpha” it doesn’t involve going around, acting like a jerk or attention whore.

Focus on improving your life and striving to become better and you’ll automatically find yourself becoming alpha. (You won’t even need to talk about or mention it. Your presence will just reflect it).

If you’re out of shape, change your eating habits and start training. If you live like a slob, clean out your living space.

Learn a new language. Read books.

Travel, broaden your horizons and world outlook. Practice a martial art to instil discipline within.

The bottom line is, focus on becoming an individual of value and then pass on that knowledge to others and help those less fortunate than you.

When you become immersed in yourself, all labels, stereotypes and distractions become inconsequential. You won’t even give a damn whether people view you as an “alpha”, “beta” or whatever.

I’m at the point now where I don’t give a damn about being called “alpha”. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It used to be something I was concerned with. Trying to become an “alpha”.

I’ve read articles and countless books on the subject.

But then I saw it for what it really is. Just a label. A name. I stopped concerning myself with it.

My aim in life is to grow and expand as a person and become an individual of value.

Labels and names are just a form of limitation to keep people small and confined.

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” Bruce Lee

That’s just my take. I’m constantly learning, growing and evolving and I’ll continue striving and improving. (A Sikh is always learning).

You don’t have to take anything I say as gospel. (Or anyone else for that matter). Use your own head and follow your natural instincts.

Stop being preoccupied with labels and definitions. Live your life and leave the defining to others.

Note: If you found this article useful and enjoyed reading it, my upcoming book on happiness and productivity covers this topic plus a whole lot more. More details to be released in the near future.